Master of Disaster
by Darkside Omega
Summary: Containing an all out battle of wits and wisecracks between teams 'Double Trouble' and 'Twin Terror', this story can easily be sumarized in one of two phrases containing two words: 'Prank War' or 'Total Mayhem'.
1. Eggs, Eggs, Eggs

A/N- Welcome once again to one of the odd creations of my twisted mind. I said before that I was the creator and only member of the WHEIT Squad. I wasn't lying. Henceforth, here is possibly the only chaptered humor story you will get from me. Oh, and many of the wise cracks and pranks really took place. I also wasn't kidding when I said I had several binders of notes on what my classmates did, AKA, potential story material. But, as an authoress once said, "Let the Madness insue." They don't call me the Mistress of Mayhem for nothing, you know...  
  
Disclaimer- Oi, you are even crazier than me if you think _I_ own Yu-Gi-Oh. What? You still think I own Yu-Gi-Oh? *Sighs* One moment while I call up the people in white coats...And I don't own Sharpies , either. But I wish I did...think of all the fun me and my cousin would have...  
  
Stuff in _These_ means a stressing or emphasis on a word. But only because I'm computer illiterate and I can't get the italics to work.  
  
Ryou is the lighter one. "Y. BK." is Yami Bakura's nickname because I refuse to write out Yami Bakura each and every time Ryou talks to him. That and the fact that I don't think Ryou would call him "Bakura". I will refer to him as Bakura, though.  
  
Yugi is the other light half. Yami is Yami Yugi. Got it? Yeah? Okay.  
  
  
  
Eggs, Eggs, Eggs...  
  
  
  
It was 8:15. Ryou hummed happily to himself as he gathered the ingredients needed to make an omelet. The familiar cool air of the refrigerator greeted his face as he opened the refrigerator door. Pulling out a carton of eggs and a block of cheese, Ryou idly wondered what his Yami was doing now. The ancient spirit wasn't one to sleep in and was usually up at the crack of dawn on most days. He got his answer soon.  
  
Ryou picked up an egg. Just as he was about to tap it on the edge of the pan, something caught his eye. Something was scrawled in black Sharpie across the shell of the egg. Ryou lifted the egg up to eye level for closer inspection. Written in the unmistakable messy script of Bakura's was one word. "Egg". (1)  
  
The white haired teen cocked one eye. Egg? He picked up another white orb. Sure enough, there was something on this one too. "Yet another egg." Then almost as an afterthought, "(Not quite what you were eggspecting.)" A wry grin made its way to Ryou's face.  
  
Shaking his head at his Yami's antics, he proceeded to examine the rest, reading them out loud to himself.  
  
"You crack me up. You must be yolking. Ow! You're hurting me!"  
  
'Ow! You're hurting me!'? Well, at least it was better than the egg jokes.  
  
"Eat me. I say tomato." Ryou blinked. He knew where this was heading. Hastily, he searched the few remaining eggs for the one he was looking for. He finally found it. "You say tomatato."  
  
Tomatato? (2) Ryou snickered, making a mental note to himself to ask his darker half about that later.  
  
"Help me to get out of my shell. (Eggscape). Would you eat a little baby birdie?" I just might, he thought wryly as his stomach protested audibly. Ryou shook his head and turned around. A piece of paper on the otherwise bare counter caught his attention. It hadn't been there before. Ryou picked it up. It read:  
  
~*A banana stood propped next to the sink. The banana was in the usual oblong curved shape of a banana and was a pure bright yellow. But how odd! An arched eyebrow hovered over its right eye. The banana watched Ryou read.*~  
  
Ryou whirled around. Sure enough, there was the banana. Ryou was feeling a distinct twinge of paranoia now. But it wasn't paranoia when they're really out to get you. Unless...  
  
"Y. BK.!"  
  
A familiar ancient Egyptian figure darted into the doorway. He had on his face a wicked grin and in his hand a Sharpie.  
  
"You bellowed?"  
  
"You did this, didn't you?" Ryou waved an egg in front of his darker side's face.  
  
The wicked grin faded slightly to a smug smile.  
  
"Of course. Do you doubt my abilities?"  
  
Ryou changed tactics. "What on earth is a tomatato?"  
  
Bakura blinked confusedly. " A tomatato? Where did you hear that?"  
  
"From you."  
  
"When?"  
  
Ryou handed him an egg. Bakura dictated his earlier message out loud.  
  
"I say tomatato." He smiled sheepishly at his lighter half. "Er...oops?"  
  
Ryou snickered. "_Someone_ has spelling problems..." He rolled his eyes for emphasis.  
  
"Hey now,"  
  
He grinned. Perfect timing. "Hay is for horses, straw is cheaper, grass is free. Buy a farm and get all three." (3)  
  
Bakura stared at him. "Where did you learn that?"  
  
"Around. What else did you manage to do this morning?"  
  
The former tomb robber now wore an evil grin. "Having fun."  
  
Ryou nodded knowingly. "Prank war?"  
  
"But of course. Other than robbing tombs, that was what I was famous for."  
  
Very faintly, the two silver haired boys heard a series of yells coming from the general direction of the Turtle Game Shop.  
  
"Well," Ryou sighed. "Let the games begin."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(1) - Uh...yeah, this really did happen. It was over the summer at my family reunion. My cousin, the one who drums for the band who plays the song that I used for Drink Up, had a Sharpie. He went around labeling things like "Lid" and "Leaf" and finally he got to the hard boiled eggs. My uncle saw this and borrowed a Sharpie of his own. He made a little mistake in his addition to one of the eggs...  
  
(2) - Pronounce this "Toe Mah Tah Toe" 'Twas an accidental misspelling in (1) that my uncle did.  
  
(3) - Yeah, this was a small adaptation to the not-so-popular saying that my World History and Spanish teacher made. Great, eh?  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N- Questions, comments, love letters, hate mail, babbling, marriage proposals, plots to take over the world...send it all to me via that little bluish box below. Go on, try it. It's fun. 


	2. Follow the Bouncing Ball

A/N- Wow, I never knew anyone could like a story so much! This was originally going to be spiders, but I really can't do random screams of terror...

Disclaimer- Do you really think that the creator of Yu-Gi-Oh would attack their character with bouncy balls? Wait, don't answer that... I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

Follow the Bouncing Ball****

Still somewhat half asleep, Yugi sauntered into the kitchen. Just as he was about to open the pantry door, interesting noises began to filter in from the other areas of the previously still house.

*Thump*

"Oi!"

Yugi looked in the direction of the stairs.

*Thump* *Thump* *Thump* *Thump* *ThumpThumpThumpThumpThumpThump!*

Then a string of ancient Egyptian curses.

Yugi sighed, fighting to keep the smile off his face. He cautiously peered around the corner. Just as he expected, Yami was lying at the bottom of the stairs along with a pile of his clothes that had previously been resting at the top of the stairs.

Yami looked up at curious light.

"Tripped." A pause. "Again…"

"I thought as much. Want some breakfast?"

Back inside the kitchen, Yami seated himself at the table. He had learned long ago that it was better for them all if he kept as far away from all kitchen appliances as possible. After all, since when was it a good idea for an ancient Egyptian pharaoh to be in a modern kitchen? 

Then Yugi continued what he had previously started to do. And a very bad idea it was, too. He opened the pantry door.

Immediately after the door opened, both of the teens were engulfed in a literal, bouncing, multicolored storm. Of bouncy balls. Somehow, _someone had propped a rather large pail of bouncy balls in assorted sizes in the pantry. Almost in slow motion, Yami watched with an amused sort of horror as a virtual waterfall of the small rubber objects cascaded to the floor. And then time resumed its normal pace. _

Here, there, and everywhere, no place was left un-bounced on by the little leaping toy menaces. Single-handedly, they turned the kitchen into a chaotic maelstrom, busy ricocheting off the appliances, each other, and the two unfortunate boys stuck in the middle. 

Yami quickly ducked under the table, his lighter side grabbing a colander to shield himself with and following suit. There was only one slight problem. The only trouble with a table is that it has no walls. A table was not made for hiding from bouncy balls, the inventor never including the possibility that his creation would ever be used for a shield. 

In fact, it was a very bad place to hide in this instance. A ball would bounce off the floor, hit the underside of the table, and come back down at an even greater pace. And thus the pair eventually gave up and retreated to the living room at a high speed, Yami slamming the door behind them, effectively blocking out most of the bouncy balls. Most of them. One still made it through and pegged him in the back of the head. When he spotted the offender, he managed to glare at it.

"Hey, Yami, come look at this!" Came the excited call of his lighter half, as he gestured with his colander.

And there on the now closed kitchen door was a sticky note. Actually, there were many sticky notes. It had escaped their attention till now, but not anymore. The _entire room had been almost solidly covered in hundreds of sticky notes. And each one had the same thing written in the exact same writing. Yami peeled a neon orange one off a nearby vase._

_Yami and Yugi,_

_Consider this a challenge, Pharaoh. I'll bet you my title of Master of Disaster __in an all out prank war that I can top you in a battle of wits. If you win, you get my title. If I win, you are my slave for a week. If you accept, then make your own feeble attempt to prank us. We'll be waiting... _

_Team Twin Terror._

"So", Yugi asked, "what should we do?"

"What else?" His other replied. "We accept their challenge."

"I hope you know what you're doing..."


	3. Cash or Charge

A/N- I hate to say it, but I really don't like this part. Speech/talking is the one of the things that I am worst at. I only put it in here because the story needed it for the plot to be plausible/ manageable/ credible/ and/or workable. Yes, my cousin and I are walking thesauri (plural for thesaurus). Oh, and I forgot advanceable. Blah... Onwards to insanity!

Disclaimer- *This disclaimer was unfortunately blown up by my demolitionist of an Elemental, Tack. It will be back later.*

I've _finally learned italics! Yay!_

One of these ~*~ means a scene change.

The names shall remain the same as previously stated in part one.

Cash or Charge

"Hah!" Tristan crowed triumphantly. "I told you Seiyaryu had 2500 attack points!"

"You lose your bet!" Tea giggled.

Joey sighed. He had impulsively made the above mentioned bet and now he was at the mercy of his two, usually nice, but every-once-in-awhile-diabolical friends. And the price for losing this particular bet was to complete one dare. 

"Okay, okay, so I lost. Whadaya want me to do?"

Tea paused. "You know, we didn't really think about that."

"Yeah," Tristan mused. "But what ever it is, it has to be good."

"What do you want me to do?" the blond taunted, "Dress in drag and do the hula?"(1)

Tea and Tristan exchanged evil grins. "Exactly."

"Me and my big mouth..."

~*~

"_WHAT?!?!" He yelled, eying the pile of garments Tea held out to him. "You want __me to wear __that?!"_

"Yes."

"...Fine..." The blond stalked back into Tea's house to get changed.

~*~

"Y. BK., are you _sure you know how to work one of these?"_

"Of course I'm sure. And keep quiet!"

~*~

The back door inched open and Joey stuck his head out.

"Do I really have to do this?" he whined dramatically, hoping for the slight chance that Tea and Tristan had reconsidered. No such luck.

"Of course you do."

Joey slunk out onto the makeshift stage that Tea's parents had rigged up for her to practice on. The two visible audience members snickered. Ordinarily, Joey loved to show off. He loved to be the center of attention. But not now. He was about to keep up his end of the bet...

~*~

Both members of team Twin Terror struggled to keep themselves concealed as the show went on. One little piece of machinery was going to help them win the prank war. All they had to do was be at the right place at the right time with the right multimillionaire...

~*~

Someone pounded at the door and Mokuba ran to open it. Immediately he came face to chest with the two silver haired boys on the other side. (2) He blinked, looking up.

"Hey guys! What are you two doing here?"

"Hello Mokuba." Ryou greeted, "We came to see your brother. Is he here?"

"Yes, I'm here."

The three turned around. Indeed, there was the older of the Kaibas, poised on the stairs.

"What did you want?" His voice lacked its usual haughtiness as he strolled across the floor to talk to his two friends.

Bakura went straight to the point. "We saw something that might be of interest to you."

"Oh?" Seto allowed a rare smile to adorn itself over his face. The ancient tomb robber had an unmistakable sense of humor and he knew it.

"Yes." Bakura grinned as his lighter half vainly tried to smother his laughter. "Joey was wearing a Hawaiian floral print skirt, coconut bra, and doing a scene out of The Lion King."

Ryou gasped for air. "Complete with a flower lei!" he giggled.

Seto arched an eyebrow. "The dueling monkey? In a floral print_ skirt and a coconut__ bra?" A smirk played across his lips. "I would have __paid to see that!"_

Ryou held up his trusty video camera and a tape. "Would that be cash or charge?"

(1)- Small excerpt here from The Lion King. And I don't own it.

(2)- So he's not the tallest person around...

A/N- I forgot the end author's note in the last part. And the notes. Well, I won't do it here. Now if I could only remember what I wanted to say...


	4. Answer From Above

A/N- *Grins* I'm back! *Crickets chirp* Meh...fine, BE that way...

Disclaimer- If I owned Yu-Gi-Oh, then I would probably kill Seto off repeatedly. Or put him in a dress. Whatever. And I think K_G/F is going to declare death on me for this...

Answer From Above

After what seemed like an endless expanse of time, Yami finally succeeded in capturing all the rogue bouncy balls. But at the cost of halting all the little menaces, he had acquired a pounding headache. To make matters worse, neither he nor Yugi had managed to think up any sort of retaliation prank.

Still fuming over that morning's escapades, the once pharaoh yanked open the freezer door to get an icepack for the various spots that had been bounced on. What he didn't expect was for several unlabeled containers to come crashing down on him like an avalanche. 

Dazedly sitting on the kitchen floor, he curiously opened a nearby container. It was filled with an odd, fluffy white mixture. He smiled for perhaps the first time that morning. This was going to be _perfect..._

~*~

The face of Bakura wore the unmistakable grin that meant he was plotting something. As he and his almost literal twin went up the path leading to the home they shared, neither one of them was paying much attention to their surroundings. And it was in this absent minded manner that they opened the front door.

Immediately upon entry, something clicked. Bakura's tomb-robbing instincts kicked in and he looked around wildly. Something was up and he knew it. And indeed, something was up. Literally. In fact, an entire tub of something was up. That something was snow.

It fell all together, not in flakes, but in large soggy clumps, hitting the two silver haired pranksters. Their separate reactions were very much opposite of each other.

Bakura jumped up and down, cursing feverently in Egyptian because a large amount of the freezing substance had disappeared down the back of his collar. The freezing snow and ice was bad to say the least. But when it melted, it was worse. Bakura swore again.

Ryou, on the other hand, calmly shook his head and brushed off his now soggy clothes. Being pummeled with snowballs every winter was a yearly occurrence. So what if it happened again in summer? Idly he wondered if this was an acceptance to their challenge. And if it was, how on earth had they managed to get hold of snow in the middle of August?

But these ponderings were of little importance now, and he had no more time to wonder these facts, as his devious darker half grabbed his arm and began the trek back to the multimillionaire's house.

Bakura was mad, to say the least. Egypt was known for its searing climate, not its frozen precipitation. He had been anticipating something, but not this. Not snow. Not in the middle of August, anyway.

But that was okay. He had an exceptional prank in mind and he was going to try it out, too...

~*~

Once again, the front door to the Kaibas' mansion received a heavy pounding. Seto opened it this time and looked down at the two, now water-logged, teens.

"Yes?"

"We need to borrow something."

A/N- Meh, no numbered notes for this part, either... There was some thing specific I wanted to say, but I can't seem to remember what it was. Oh, well. I think I need to post a challenge...


	5. Mall Mayhem

A/N-  O.O Darkside lives!!!  Everybody gasp now. Yes, I'm back. My Angst cycle is ending, and now, hopefully, humor will reign for awhile. Because, frankly, Nov 23 to the beginning of March is TOO long to be Angst-Ridden. Even for me. And I said in my last chapter that I was going to post a challenge. And I was. But now I have forgotten what it was. -.-;;  Great... I'll think of a new one sooner or later. Oh! And this part might have content eligible to be labeled as character bashing. Because I don't like these two characters, and will not pretend to. But it's pretty mild. So just read on. They don't call me the _Mistress of Mayhem for nothing... WHEIT Squad forever!!!(WHEIT Squad stands White Haired Egyptian Idiot Torture Squad. It's my own little thing that's pro Y.BK. and all that good stuff. Kinda like the SKTS Sisters, but not.)_

Disclaimer- I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, Duel Monsters, The Lion King, Airheads, CarnEvil, Dance Dance Revolution, or Air Hockey. And there's probably some other things in here that I don't own. So if you recognize something, chances are that I don't own it.

One of these: ~*~ means a scene change. Another place and time, so to speak.

Names are as stated in part one.

Mall Mayhem.

Bakura grinned. Getting Seto to finance his team for the war had been a fantastic idea on his part. All he had to do was keep the multi-millionaire updated with the stupidest, but still hilarious actions of others by means of tape. It was almost _too_ easy.

But, as Ryou had tactfully pointed out, the recording of a Lion King scene come freakishly to life wasn't going to be enough to bargain with for some of the more expensive pieces of machinery they needed. In fact, it was only enough to get them fully equipped for one prank. 

Seto had already ordered what they had asked for. But if more support was wanted, they would have to do some undercover work. And that suited the Tomb Robber just fine...

~*~

Joey snickered. "You might wanna shut your mouth, Tristan. The girls aren't gonna find your drool all that attractive." (1)

His friend snapped his jaw shut with an audible click, attention diverted from the pack of girls who were gushing over the gaudy array of prom dresses in a nearby store window. "Hey! At least I'm liked by the female population. Unlike you." And he stuck out his tongue.

"Going to the mall with you two is _so degrading..." Tea muttered, rolling her eyes._

Neither one took any notice to her words.

"How mature of you." The blond taunted. "If you were a type of candy, you know what you'd be?"

"Yeah, a sweet." Tristan grinned and flexed his arm. "Irresistible to all women."

"Nah, who're you trying to kid?" Joey hooted. "You'd be an Airhead!"

"Why you-!" he lunged at his overly amused friend. But years of being in fights kicked in and instinct told Joey to move. So he did. His attacker missed.

A startled feminine yelp rent the air, attracting the unwanted attention of other mall goers. And then a splash. Onlookers began to laugh.

Tristan had shoved Tea into the pond surrounding the miniature waterfall. 

Her left eye began to twitch. The penny that ricocheted off the top of her head, thrown by a nearby kindergartener didn't seem to improve her temper. Tea let out an unearthly shriek.

"TRISTAN!!!"

The said brunette paled and took a step backwards. He laughed nervously. Then fled for his life.

Meanwhile, Joey, who had started the entire scene, did one of the smartest things he had done in his entire life.

He got out of Tea's line of sight.

Through the slatted spaces of the bench, Joey peered out, watching the fun. Interestingly enough, he wasn't the only one there.

"Hello there, Joey." A pleasant and familiar British accent said. "What's up?"

The blond jumped in surprise, almost revealing their hiding place. "Ryou?! Bakura? What're you two doing here?"

"What's it look like, Mortal?" Bakura rolled his eyes while attempting to hold the tape recorder steady. "We're watching them." The silver haired spirit motioned toward where Tea, who bore an uncanny resemblance to an enraged, and drenched, rhinoceros, was charging after a very apprehensive Tristan, trying to gain enough ground to whack him with her purse. (2)

Glancing behind him at his extremely terrifying pursuer, Tristan failed to remember the layout of the mall. And as everyone knows, bad things happen if you don't remember things.

He crashed into a pillar.

Ryou and Joey winced. Bakura, retaining some of his old sadism, snickered. And Tea snarled and pounced, flailing her purse wildly. Needless to say, it took four mall officials to pry her off of her victim. And then two more to carry Tristan away to the first aid room.

Joey sighed, not having the courage to follow the little procession, taking comfort in the fact that no other sane human would either. "So whadda you two wanna do now?"

Bakura turned off the video camera and peered at his watch. "There's still about an hour till our equipment is supposed to come in..."

Ryou stood up, startling an old lady out of her trance. "How about a trip to the arcade?"

Joey's eyes lit up. "Yeah!"

~*~

Upon setting foot in the room full of pulsing noise and flashing lights, also known as the mall arcade, Team Twin Terror was promptly forgotten by the blond. He had rushed off, preferring the presence of CarnEvil (3) to their society.

But neither Bakura or his lighter half minded at the moment. In fact, neither of them had noticed. Identical grins spreading over their faces, the silver haired boys ducked down behind a nearby air hockey table. Bakura turned the tape recorder again. This might prove to be very interesting...

~*~

Yami stepped gingerly up onto the raised platform. Why the kids of today were so attracted to these "arcades", he would never know. According to his hikari, the games were supposed to be _fun. And he had finally been talked into trying one._

Actually, it was more like being challenged.

Yugi knew his weakness. He had a title as the "King of Games" to uphold. And that meant no turning down a challenge.

In his mind, the former pharaoh went over the hasty instructions Yugi had given him mere seconds earlier. _"Step in the direction the arrow points when it reaches the top of the screen." That didn't sound _too_ hard. But he still looked around to make sure no one he knew was watching. He never thought to look behind the air hockey table._

Satisfied with the delusion that no one familiar was present, Yami focused all his attention on the screen in front of him.

The King of Games had never lost at Duel Monsters, or any other game for that matter. And he didn't intent to start with Dance Dance Revolution. (4)

(1)- Oi, this whole 'addicted to girls' this is a bit new to me. I left off writing this with the Duelist Kingdom plot still in place, and he wasn't like this then...

(2)- The horror, the horror... I'd hate to be him...

(3)- It's one of those gory, shooting games. You know... locked in a haunted theme park, surrounded by the living dead? "Kill" them before they kill you? Yeah... Real pleasant...

(4)- Just my little mental image from the last time I went to an arcade... *Snickers*

A/N- Whee! Fun stuff. Just a little thing to let you all know that I'm still among the living (But is doubting Tristan may be...) and that hopefully this story will be getting more attention than it previously was. So be a nice little (Or not so little. Either way.) reader and drop me a review with your thoughts. New ideas and pranks are welcome (But not guaranteed a spotlight.), as I'm still not positive how long this story will be. This is Darkside saying TTFN, Ta Ta For Now! ^.~


End file.
